Supporting Loved Ones with Mental Illness—and Taking Care of Yourself

by Karen Berner Arcuri

Mental illness also affects mentally healthy people—those who care for their loved ones during their illness. Mental illness affects approximately 23% of adults and 2.7 million children in the United States, and each illness also impacts at least three family members or friends. One of them may be you.

If you are caring for a person with mental illness, you may well find yourself serving as both caregiver and recovery partner, depending upon the conditions of the illness. A person’s mental illness does not always interfere with his or her day-to-day functioning, although symptoms can resurface. If you were the caregiver during the acute phase, you may find yourself acting as a caregiver.  Once the person’s symptoms begin to stabilize your role will change to one of a recovery partner. This can be especially stressful when the person’s choices for recovery can be risky; such as requests to reduce or change medication, go back to school or get a job after a long period of unemployment.

Whether a caregiver or recovery partner, you can ease your stress somewhat through education, self-care and, if available, a peer support network. Begin by learning all you can about your loved one’s illness. Many symptoms of mental illness are misunderstood. Therefore, when dealing with conditions such as depression, fear, anxiety, obsessions, hallucinations, unbridled energy and confusing thoughts, the best person to tell you how the illness affects your loved one may well be your loved one. You can also find information on numerous websites including www.nimh.nih.gov (the National Institute of Mental Health) and www.WebMD.com, with its related www. Medscape.com.

The best thing you can do is make time for yourself, eat right, exercise and get plenty of rest. You will find it particularly stressful to draw on all your strength if you are not at the top of your game. Watch yourself for signs of fatigue, stress and depression—and act immediately if you detect them. One way is to join a local support network such as the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill (NAMI) or the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance. You can find additional support information at www.nami.org. and www.dbsalliance.org.

Become an active participant in your loved one’s treatment. This will help you to offer appropriate support and also gain a sense of control over what may seem unmanageable. Get to know your loved one’s physician and therapist because they will become key partners in your loved one’s recovery, especially when the illness is at its worst. 

Finally, encourage your loved one to prepare a Psychiatric Advanced Directive for those times when he or she may not be capable of making personal decisions. Advanced directives can enhance communication about treatment among yourself, the physician and the person with mental illness. They can also specify treatment interventions to use if necessary to prevent symptoms from deteriorating to the point where emergency care is needed. 

With today’s research advances and a supportive recovery environment, individuals with mental illness—and their caregivers—can return to a full and productive life more quickly.